April 5th - April 8th 2012

5 April 2012

Although I didn’t come home as early as we had wanted (or as early as my mother had planned) I am finally back home in Alaska, and a full partner in this family once again. In the past several weeks, we have had many false starts in our journey home. While many back home were beginning to get worried while watching the terrible news reports coming out of Afghanistan,
our delays were entirely bureaucratic in nature.

Don’t get me wrong, even a delay of a day is a hard pill to swallow, but having a week or two in limbo was also a good thing. For many months we had been operating at a very fast and hectic pace, so a good bit of down time at the end was a great benefit of an otherwise unpleasant change of plans. For the majority of the time we were waiting at KAF, the Kandahar Air Base, a sprawling compound with many amenities. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/07/kandahar-boardwalk-kaf-of_n_706963.html) We were able to choose from Nathans Franks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and even a TGI-Fridays restaurant. Best of all, were the facilities provided by the USO. We had access to dozens of computers, phones, and internet connections. I was able to chat with Jessica at least once (sometimes twice) a day. By the 5th of April we had already made our way north on our first stop. The processing center for all Soldiers leaving Afghanistan is the Manas Transit Center in the Kyrgyz republic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transit_Center_at_Manas) . Not as large and luxurious at Kandahar, however, once at Manas we are “out of the war zone” a fact which is a tremendous relief to our families.

As we were getting ready to leave Manas, we found out that our flight had received the correct diplomatic clearances to fly directly across Siberia on the ‘Polar route’ which would take us across Russia and then to the Bering straight. Instead of more than thirty hours of flying with multiple layovers we were able to fly directly to Eielson Air Force base in North Pole Alaska.

It was a very emotional homecoming for me, as well as for many of my Soldiers, http://newsminer.com/view/full_story/18162414/article-Latest-Strykers-to-arrive-home-mark-the-beginning-of-a-surge-of-soldiers-returning-to-Fort-Wainwright?instance=local_news
. Seeing Jessica, and Olivia for the first time (in person) after many months was an amazing feeling. With Olivia asleep in her car seat, Jessica waited in the ‘stands’ as we marched in.
Even though we arrived at the AHA (Alert Holding Area) just around midnight, there was still a crowd of around 600 people, and a marching band… both groups were extremely loud and were not what Olivia wanted to hear as she was trying to sleep. It took me a few minutes to work my way through the crowd, zigzagging though swarms of relatives and families. Within a few minutes I was able to hug Jessica and end what has been the longest year of my life.

I know that the transition will not be easy, as I learn to be a father, and remember how to be a husband, but seeing Jessica smiling through the crowd made me overjoyed at all the possibilities.


6 April 2012

Olivia had been up far later than usual because of my homecoming, and she was pretty loud about it! It took her a little bit to finally settle down, and by the time she did, both Jessica and I were struggling to keep our eyes open.

Having come more than 11 time zones in such a short time has made it a little difficult to get my internal clock reset. As a result I was up and wide awake after about four hours of sleep. Knowing that I would take a while to get back on track, Jessica had kindly stocked all kinds
of things in the refrigerator for me – the one thing that I was most looking forward to was a giant bowl of her Chili, so at 4am, I devoured the pot of it, and went back to bed.

Although I was able to come home and be here for Olivia’s first week, so much has changed in terms of her routine, and her needs, that I am still a more than a little lost. It was nice and educational for me to begin watching Jessica’s morning routine, so I can get used to the this-and-this-and-this-and-that of the day. Lucky for me, Olivia is pretty easy going, and keeps giving me a look of understanding, as if to say ‘I know you’re trying Dad, you’ll get it”.. And I will.

During the first two weeks of my return (reintegration the Army terms it) we are given a very light work schedule to allow us to adjust to being home. We have a few hours of work each day,
starting with medical checkups, and tests, meeting with counselors,, and other support agencies. Once we were complete for the day (a very short day). I came home to see my two ladies again. Jessica and Olivia decided to take me out for lunch to welcome me back home. Only a day or so into my return and I am already getting a sense of just how difficult it has been for Jessica – almost as though she were a single parent while I’ve been gone. The simple process of getting Olivia ready to go, getting her in and out of the car seat, and catering to her ‘whims’ while in the restaurant were a new experience for me. I am in awe of how much Jessica has accomplished and how easily she seems to have handled it - not that it is easy by any means. I am going to have to work hard to follow her example, but I know she and Olivia will work hard to help teach me.

Following lunch we ducked into the AT&T store to activate my new phone. As a welcome back gift, Jessica picked up one of the newest iphones for me, and after a few minutes it was up and running. Now that I am assisting with this blog, it will be nice to be able to take decent photos
with my phone to be able to share.

7 April 2012

I’ve often thought to myself, how hard could this whole parenting thing be? I mean, as a Drill
Sergeant a few years back I was able to singlehandedly control two–hundred-and-forty teenagers and mold them into warriors, I’ve invaded countries and traveled the world. This afternoon when Jessica told me that she needed to do some errands and that she was going to leave Olivia and I behind… well let's just say that I was more stressed out than I had been on a dozen combat patrols. Olivia cooperated for about half of the time Jessica was away… to be honest, Jessica wasn’t gone for more than an hour or so, although at the time it felt like much longer to me. I started off walking around carrying Olivia, singing to her the two songs that I know. Then when everything appeared to be going well, I put her in her swing, and wrapped her up in a warm fuzzy blanket…. She smilled and cooed and enjoyed herself. A little bit later, she began crying… no sweat, I thought… I’ve got this… I checked her diaper… bingo! So we went up stairs and I changed her. Everything was going great. I glanced down at my watch, thinking it had been a while that Jessica has been gone (twenty minutes have passed since she left). So Olivia and I read a book about animals with little patches of fake fur for her to feel. Then she started crying again. Could it be another diaper? Nope. Did she want to get in the swing? Nope. Was she too cold? Not a chance. Did she want to be bounced? Carried? Kissed? Hugged? No on all counts. By this time, she was wailing, her eyes getting red, and her bottom lip beginning to quiver. I tried music, singing, the radio, finally I thought of Jessica telling me that the noise from the shower was relaxing to Olivia. Into the kitchen we went, where I turned on the faucet and hoped for the best. Sure enough the noise was just music to Olivia’s ears, if only for a minute. Olivia had calmed down now, just about the time the Jessica returned from her errands (and with a surprise order from a great Thai restaurant for us). This brief episode (lasting maybe 75 minutes) taught me a lesson about how much work and dedication I am going to have to devote to this little girl… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

8 April 2012

Happy Easter everyone!

Today has been a good day, Olivia cooperated with me this morning so that after her breakfast we were able to play for about two or three hours while Jessica was able to stay in bed and get a small slice of much deserved rest. Then it was time to get Olivia up and dressed in a nice Easter outfit. I laughed when Jessica said that Olivia had many Easter outfits. Why would she need more than one (I thought to myself) as Olivia began to spit up a bit of morning milk all over herself.

After cleaning her up, I dressed myself up to match. Following a year of wearing the same dirty uniform day in and day out, it was nice to throw on a pair of khaki pants and a nice button up shirt. Jessica laughed and said that I shouldn’t be getting dressed up. That was the cue for Olivia to spit up on my dress shirt. Not missing a beat, I cleaned up Olivia, took her into the bedroom, and placed her on the bed while I got a different button up shirt. This was the second cue, for Olivia to spit up on yet another shirt. All the while, Olivia was laughing and smiling at me. Jessica’s common sense finally prevailed and I just grabbed a t-shirt.

We settled in for a nice relaxing day of chatting with family and playing with Olivia, all the while I am trying to watch what Jessica does in each situation so that I can follow her lead. I am lucky to have such an amazing partner for this latest adventure.